The Crucible Weekend Starts Tonight in Wisconsin & Australia

Today in nearby Wisconsin and halfway around the world in Australia, men are gathering, preparing, praying.

Some are staffing one of these two weekend retreats. Among them are rookie staffers, whose “work” is fresh in their hearts, and on their faces. At least one of them, a friend of mine, is staffing for the first time many years after he went through what is now The Crucible Weekend. There are mid-level staff, who are familiar with the setting & the flow of the weekend. And there, too, are senior staff, the leaders. These are the men who have staffed over and over, who have earned the wisdom they bring. There’s no “Easy-Bake Oven” for men’s work. Men who give up their weekends, hobbies, and no small amount of energy to run these things know there is no substitute for experience. Some of these leaders will assume a heavy mantle of leadership for the entire weekend. There are surprises, even for the senior staff. And that is okay, because, you see, they’ve been tested, over and over. And they rely upon God to show up & do his work through them and all the other men on the weekend. It is a weighty responsibility, and yet I’ve never heard a leader complain about it.

There are other men, too. In fact, nearly as many men as on staff will be attending the weekend, starting tonight. Some arrive broken, troubled on every side. Some arrive proud, convinced they have things all figured out. Some men are fighting with all they have to get there tonight, fighting through fear, trouble at home and/or work, physical issues, car trouble, foul spirits and the like. Some men are going because they hope God will show up. Some men are going, and they’re scared, some bordering on panic. Still others have seen men they know go on the weekend and emerge changed—for the better. These men don’t know how, or why, they just know they want what they saw in the actions & words of a man who had been through. Several years ago, I was one of these men.

It is rare in today’s society that words like honor, service, servant leadership, prayer, and Jesus are all used together. It is even rarer when men in the Christian church do *anything* together. How rare, precious, and inspiring it is when these two things come together on a weekend retreat!

Throughout the day today, and during the weekend, I’ll lift these men up in prayer. Godspeed to you all!

Troubled on Every Side

A dear friend of mine is “troubled on every side” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).

He’s fighting the good fight in a dark place. His physical safety is in question. His emotional well being is under daily attack. Things at work for him are dark & foreboding.

It has been 4 years since we set off, as a group, to rally around something greater in our lives: greater impact, greater responsibility, greater “things”. I don’t mean a bigger TV, or a newer car. I mean Kingdom Impact. We got crushed. Hammered. Separated & picked off. And we thought for a while the tide had turned.

He thought God was calling him out of the dark place, and then it all fell apart suddenly, a surprise despite all signals go. Everyone was thunderstruck: him, his wife, the men in our group. I was sad, angry, and confused. I wanted to know why. As I grieved for my friend, not knowing why, I couldn’t escape the feeling that God’s protection or His plan, invisible to us all, was involved. Over a month later, there’s no smoking gun, no scandal, no clear word from God on what happened—we still don’t have any inkling of “why”.

So he prepared to return to the dark place. Counseling, wisdom & support from us (more support than wisdom, I’m sure, but sometimes the blind squirrel finds a nut), and perseverance drive him on. He works in service to God, based on the gifts He has given.

This is the stuff that makes men heroes. It isn’t a big naval battle, or a speech at the United Nations, or closing the $5 million deal at work. This is a man, holding his Heavenly Father’s hand, going back into the war zone every day, doing his best for his God and the people God has called him to serve. His courage, perseverance, and effort inspire me, and I am honored to call him my friend.

What have you done lately worthy of such praise? What are you waiting for?

The Crucible Project: Initiation Is Not A Cult

I'm preparing to go staff the March weekend in WI, and initiation is on my mind & heart.

What is initiation?

• In pre-industrial age societies, men initiated boys into the community of men. These were tests of strength, character, courage.
• Give them a taste of what it takes to be a man: 
• dig deeper for strength & resolve when they want to quit
• character when faced with situations where ethics, morals, & faith are involved
• courage in the face of fear & uncertainty
• The point was not to haze, shame, humiliate, or damage. After all, these boys were sons of men in the community.

 Why initiation for men?

Service & mentorship
not hazing

• What defines a man? Is it age? Maybe secondary sex characteristics like deeper voice or chest hair? How about sexual conquest, siring children, or moving out from his parents’ house? I argue that our culture, including Christian culture, is confused on this issue. I’ve seen little church teaching or guidance on this issue, leaving young men to fend for themselves. Because few of these boys have a mentor. And that, in my opinion, is because few men can understand, much less articulate what it means to be a man. Christian communities need Christian men to challenge & bless young men, to teach them, welcome them into the community of men, to share the wisdom of their experience with these men.
• For those men older than teens/20s, there are still questions: do I have “what it takes”, how do articulate what is going on in my head, how do I communicate with my heart / women / other men? Heck, in most cases, men have no idea what “authentic” community means. Hint: it’s not about drinking beer, playing golf, watching sports. If their Dad didn’t teach them, they’re trying to figure it out on their own.
• Why not have a group of prayerful Christian men challenge & bless other men, regardless of age? Where is the downside of teaching men how to understand themselves, be honest with themselves & others? 

Why not give out the schedule?

• I touched on this in an earlier post.
• I like to figure out the way to do well on a “test”. Left to my own devices, I’ll study like a wild man, practice, prepare. The truth is, I’ll figure out how much I have to do to meet a certain standard I have for myself, and do that. If I don’t know what the minimum is, I’ll work harder, do whatever it takes. If I don’t have lots of data on how to game the system, I won’t game the system. 

Initiation <> Cult

In terms of initiation, The Crucible Project doesn’t have the hallmarks of cults/hazing:

• Sleep deprivation
• Men get adequate sleep & are not up all night. Tired, yes. Driven to exhaustion? No.
• Coercion
• The whole weekend is what I call “challenge by choice”. This isn’t the military, people.
• Food & water
• Men eat & drink on the weekend; water is always available. It is not a spa retreat, but we don’t starve or go thirsty, either.
• Physical punishment or verbal abuse
• Absolutely, categorically, positively does not happen. The weekend is iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17), not a place where men hurt each other.

I'm focused on what I can give back to the men on the weekend. Men I don't even know. I'm giving back the blessings & wisdom I've gained, in part through the service of other men who staffed. These men didn't know me, either. They spent a weekend away from their families, after months of preparation, to serve God and other men doing work that is challenging. On Sunday, we'll all leave blessed & full, and the community of Christian men will be stronger & wiser. That is neither hazing, nor a cult.

Love & Service

Great post I saw today from Scott Westerman. He's a fellow Michigan State alumni whose blog I've followed off & on.

His wife has fought cancer & is in remission now. In December he wrote this blog which warmed my heart this morning, on Valentine's Day.