Crucible Project Retreat No Greg Huston Cult

No Greg Huston picture in my wallet.

The Crucible Project weekend retreats are not a "cult of personality". Greg Huston is no Kim Jong-il. I don't have pictures of him in my wallet, or in my home. We don't have pictures of him on the weekends. He doesn't run around on weekends or staff meetings with people hanging on his every word. He's not a megalomaniac feared by everyone. People don't run around saying things like, "Greg said this" or "We can't do anything without Greg", or "*I* got to spend some time meeting with Greg today".

The reality is much different. First a disclaimer: I'm not a close confidante of Greg. I know him, & he knows me, but I haven't been in a small group with him, I'm not on the Board of Directors for The Crucible Project, etc. So I'm not speaking with authority or inside knowledge of who he is at his core. 

What I can say is that in my interactions with him, he's a humble, smart, wise, honest, hard-working guy who cares very much for the hearts of Christian men. He isn't at every retreat, and the focus when he is there is not on him at all. As I said in my post yesterday, staff are very focused on listening to the Holy Spirit & getting guidance there. Greg isn't hands-off: he has ideas on how he'd like things done, and a lot of experience to back up those ideas. He knows this work isn't about him: it's about men, community, the healing power of God & the whispers of the Holy Spirit.

That doesn't sound like a cult to me. Because it isn't.

The Crucible Project: Initiation Is Not A Cult

I'm preparing to go staff the March weekend in WI, and initiation is on my mind & heart.

What is initiation?

• In pre-industrial age societies, men initiated boys into the community of men. These were tests of strength, character, courage.
• Give them a taste of what it takes to be a man: 
• dig deeper for strength & resolve when they want to quit
• character when faced with situations where ethics, morals, & faith are involved
• courage in the face of fear & uncertainty
• The point was not to haze, shame, humiliate, or damage. After all, these boys were sons of men in the community.

 Why initiation for men?

Service & mentorship
not hazing

• What defines a man? Is it age? Maybe secondary sex characteristics like deeper voice or chest hair? How about sexual conquest, siring children, or moving out from his parents’ house? I argue that our culture, including Christian culture, is confused on this issue. I’ve seen little church teaching or guidance on this issue, leaving young men to fend for themselves. Because few of these boys have a mentor. And that, in my opinion, is because few men can understand, much less articulate what it means to be a man. Christian communities need Christian men to challenge & bless young men, to teach them, welcome them into the community of men, to share the wisdom of their experience with these men.
• For those men older than teens/20s, there are still questions: do I have “what it takes”, how do articulate what is going on in my head, how do I communicate with my heart / women / other men? Heck, in most cases, men have no idea what “authentic” community means. Hint: it’s not about drinking beer, playing golf, watching sports. If their Dad didn’t teach them, they’re trying to figure it out on their own.
• Why not have a group of prayerful Christian men challenge & bless other men, regardless of age? Where is the downside of teaching men how to understand themselves, be honest with themselves & others? 

Why not give out the schedule?

• I touched on this in an earlier post.
• I like to figure out the way to do well on a “test”. Left to my own devices, I’ll study like a wild man, practice, prepare. The truth is, I’ll figure out how much I have to do to meet a certain standard I have for myself, and do that. If I don’t know what the minimum is, I’ll work harder, do whatever it takes. If I don’t have lots of data on how to game the system, I won’t game the system. 

Initiation <> Cult

In terms of initiation, The Crucible Project doesn’t have the hallmarks of cults/hazing:

• Sleep deprivation
• Men get adequate sleep & are not up all night. Tired, yes. Driven to exhaustion? No.
• Coercion
• The whole weekend is what I call “challenge by choice”. This isn’t the military, people.
• Food & water
• Men eat & drink on the weekend; water is always available. It is not a spa retreat, but we don’t starve or go thirsty, either.
• Physical punishment or verbal abuse
• Absolutely, categorically, positively does not happen. The weekend is iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17), not a place where men hurt each other.

I'm focused on what I can give back to the men on the weekend. Men I don't even know. I'm giving back the blessings & wisdom I've gained, in part through the service of other men who staffed. These men didn't know me, either. They spent a weekend away from their families, after months of preparation, to serve God and other men doing work that is challenging. On Sunday, we'll all leave blessed & full, and the community of Christian men will be stronger & wiser. That is neither hazing, nor a cult.

Crucible Project: Cult or Not?

I’ve heard the question raised, “Is The Crucible Project a cult?”

I think this is a common question for men to ask. After all, the site is not awash with details regarding what goes on during the weekend, men are asked to keep confidential what happens, and there are things said on the internet which can be disconcerting. This is a pretty broad topic, so I’ll address in several posts.

Full disclosure: I’m not an expert on cults, and I’ve not been offered any remuneration by TCP leadership to write this post.

Before I get into the definition of cults and how they may/may not play out in TCP, I’d like to address the high level concerns listed above about what goes on in the weekend, and the issue of confidential information.

Crucible Project:
Cult or Conspiracy?
Nope

What happens on the weekend?

The site and alumni are pretty vague about what happens on the weekend. Why? More black helicopters? No.

Part of the weekend is an initiation, which is experiential in nature. Even if I had the outline in hand before I went on the weekend, I would miss the context, flow, and rhythm of the weekend. There are times in my life when audible turn-by-turn guidance is what I want, and I can understand how mystery about the weekend can increase a man’s desire for step-by-step instructions. I’ve found introspection and adventure to be places where Tom-Tom doesn’t know the route. I want to use the cheat codes for my life, but that doesn’t help me learn what God has been trying to teach me. The best way for me to experience the weekend is to actually experience the weekend.

Crucible Project: Safe

Confidential vs. Secrecy     

Men who attend the weekend are asked to keep confidential what they see and hear. Confidential has several definitions; in this case it is about being entrusted with private affairs. Secrecy is something done without the knowledge of others. Strong friendships are built around trust: knowing each other well, including each other’s mistakes & failings. To share these confidential mistakes & failings with others is at least gossip, at worst betrayal.

Setting up the framework of “what happens here stays here” is important. It enables an atmosphere of “no shenanigans” (or “no BS”) that is as rare as it is essential. How many times this week did you suspect people were not being entirely truthful with you? Were their motivations or objectives secret (vs. confidential)? Do you trust them? Part of setting up an environment without these “shenanigans” is ensuring confidentiality: being entrusted with private affairs.

Can men talk at all about the weekend?

What did you
get on your
weekend?

Yes, they can. In fact, men are encouraged to share with others what they “got” on the weekend. The irony: some men are very interested in the step-by-step, when what is really important is the learning, insight, revelation (e.g. “I got it!”) that happens along the way. Talking about what I uncovered about myself is risky, because it can be messy or involve a level of trust I don’t have with everyone. It is also authentic.

On my TCP weekend, I did some powerful grief work. My Dad died when I was 12. I loved him very much. I wasn’t quite to the age when boys pull away from their Dads & start carving out their own identity, so our relationship had very little conflict. Among the things I “got” on my weekend: a renewed appreciation for my kids, a heartfelt love for them, and a drive to experience more joy with them. There are more things I “got”, things more confidential than a blog post anyone can read. And if you ask the guys who were there, you’ll get a knowing look that comes from shared experience, and how that touched their lives. And because they understand “confidential”, you won’t get the details of what else happened that weekend. That's not because of a conspiracy, or a cult. It is because those are shared experiences are private.

Crucible Project: Why No Mobile Phones?

You may have read that on The Crucible Project retreats, participants are asked to turn over their mobile devices. To some, this may seem scary or uncomfortable; to others it smacks of black helicopters, one world government, etc.

No phone on the weekend? Conspiracy? Cult. Um, no.

I’m speaking as a man who has attended the weekend and has also staffed. I didn’t design the weekend, I’m not on the Board of Directors, and I’m blogging on my own regarding this issue, so this isn’t an “official” statement.

When was the last time you had an uninterrupted conversation with someone who had his/her mobile device within arm’s reach? When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with someone who has a mobile device on their hip/in their hand, etc.? When was the last time you were doing something important, only to be interrupted by a phone call or text? With the internet in our pockets, it occurs to me it is impossible for us to be “present” if we don’t exercise control & discipline over our mobile devices.

I am easily distracted. In order to study in college, I went to the library, and holed up in a study cubicle facing the wall in a quiet area. Why? There were many more interesting things than my studies; this provided me an environment to succeed.

So asking me to give up my mobile device for the weekend isn’t really scandalous—except in the eyes of the world. My life won’t implode over the weekend—especially if I’ve told people I’m going on a retreat for the weekend.

What if something really important is going on? I’ve seen men staff and attend weekends while they needed to be reachable. One man I staffed with has two children who are medically fragile. His wife knew how long it would take him to get home, and how to reach a man on staff to get in touch with him. This man used the same process as an initiate and when he returned to staff. He was able to focus on his work over the weekend, and his wife knew how to reach him in the event she needed to.

Crucible Project: What You Won't See

If you've been looking for information on The Crucible Project online, you may have found some posts that are, let's say, less than accurate.

Here are two things that you won't see on a TCP weekend:

• Devotionals on Rocky (the movie)
• Men blindfolded & kneeling on a concrete floor

By this, I mean it doesn't happen--not that it does & you won't see it. Especially the part about the blindfold--get it?

How can I say that, & moreover, why listen to me?

• I went through the weekend in March, 2010
• I staffed a weekend in March, 2012

Neither of these things happened when I went through or staffed.

Full disclosure: 

• I believe in & trust The Crucible Project & its mission.
• I'm not being paid or rewarded in any way to write this (or any) blog entry.