Iron Sharpening Iron
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| Iron *does* sharpen iron |
Proverbs 27:17 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. For years I was told how great it would be to be considered a "nice" guy. Nice, a word not in the Bible. Nice, meaning someone who doesn't make other people uncomfortable. That's not me. I'm not a wallflower or a doormat; I'm direct. What does this have to do with the Crucible Weekend? The weekend isn't there to be "nice", to make men "comfortable".
The verse spells out that men sharpen each other. On the weekend, I learned that men can have conflict, that sparks can fly, and the relationship can be maintained, even strengthened. I was afraid of conflict with other men for most of my life. I had not seen how that conflict, handled in the right way, can help both men learn something about themselves, and each other. And the conflict doesn't result in shattered relationships, hard feelings, bitterness, and anger. Put another way, the sparks flying during this "sharpening" put a finer edge on the metal, they don't have to burn down the community. What happens when men learn & practice these things? It is transformational to them, their families, their communities, their churches.
Is the weekend a series of men sharpening each other? Yes. Is the weekend a recurring loop of men yelling at each other, a cauldron of interpersonal conflict & discord? Not at all. Did I get angry on my weekend? You bet. Did sparks fly? Sure. Did anyone get hurt physically or emotionally? Nope. Did other men get angry (or experience other emotions) when I did? Yes. And we worked it out, and we were better for it. Really. If this seems absurd, esoteric, or impossible, ask a man who has attended the weekend. He'll tell you his story. Check it out.
Sparks flying for me sounds like anger; there's more to it than that. The TCP weekend for me was the full spectrum of emotions: sad, angry, scared, happy, excited, tender (SASHET, as they're called). Sometimes sparks fly as the anger (rust) is knocked off the iron, revealing other emotions underneath. When I did my TCP weekend, I did a lot of grief work. There were sparks earlier which allowed me to get to the sadness & loss. It was a safe place to grieve, and that is an important point: grief and tenderness don't come out when surrounded by anger.
I'm willing to touch these emotions in a place which is safe: where people are authentic about their emotions, where honesty is the standard, judgement is suspended, and God is at the center. And that is what I see on the weekend.
You can see the Bible verses which guide the vision, mission, and values of TCP here.
