The Crucible Project: Is My Faith Safe?

It's time for part two in my look at The Crucible Weekend & safety: Is my faith safe?

There are a handful of basic reasons that my Christian faith is safe on The Crucible Weekend.

• First of all, this is a weekend for Christian men, so there's no threat from other religious beliefs.
• Within the larger Christian community, there are many different demoninations. However, the point of the weekend is not to move men from one Christian denomination to another. There is no denominational affiliation here.
• You won't find detailed doctrinal positions, because the differences aren't the point. And the point isn't the intricacies of a particular staffer's beliefs or practices. I've not been a part of any discussions on the Vatican 2, predestination, or other such topics. I don't mean to make light of significant topics of faith; they're just not the priority. 
• The big things are covered here. I think there is a lot of common ground, a lot of room to work and learn and grow from here. Frankly, it is a relief to work in the common areas, rather than expend energy debating (arguing?) about our differences. 

So that addresses whether a particular tenet or belief is "pushed" in the weekend (clearly not). In my mind, the next question is whether or not someone will directly challenge what I believe.

I'm walking a fine line here: I don't want to steal the experience from anyone, and at the same time I want to address the issue, so I'll speak from my own experience. I have not needed to explain or defend or describe my position on any issue of faith. The weekend isn't a seminar on evangelism or apologetics. Those are fine things, don't get me wrong--just not the focus on The Crucible Weekend.

There have been times, in circles of men, when my faith has been challenged. I don't mean assaulted or attacked; more like brought out for me to see, to reconcile.

Some are questions around how I'm *living* my faith, basic spiritual disciplines. For example, there have been times where I was afraid about important things like my job/career, health issues in my immediate family, etc. During these times, men have called me out, asking difficult questions about how I'm dealing with what is going on. They've asked about if/how I'm taking these issues to God in my prayer time. They've asked if I'm regularly reading the Bible, and what I've learned there, and how it applies to my circumstance. They've asked, among other things, if I'm trusting God or my own strength.

I've also been asked more difficult, complex questions. These help me see, in bold relief, my choices & their results. I tend to go off & try to figure things out on my own, so men have challenged me around community: with God, other men, other people. I remember the men who have asked me, rhetorically, how well "doing life on my own" is working for me. Other men have asked me things like, "How do you see your choices playing out as your kids grow up". They get me back to the impact of my spiritual example to others, and how my example is in line with the Bible and my faith.

There are some questions about me & my faith which are high risk & high reward. These questions are pointed, about the nature of God & application of scripture. I have gone through seasons where I have been pushed me right to the breaking point, asking things like: What is God trying to do? Why has God forsaken/opted to punish me? How do I move ahead from here? Biblically grounded men have been able to help me identify my assumptions about God's nature, confront them with scripture as appropriate, and re-frame my situation based on the authority of God's word. Being part of a small group of such men provides me with the opportunity to have them walk with me through life as I implement the changes in my life.

In summary, my faith is safe from attack when I'm on The Crucible Weekend, and when I'm in the presence of Crucible Project alumni. What is challenged instead: my complacency, assumptions, habits, and excuses. And I'm okay with that.

Is The Crucible Project Safe?

We may not be doing road work,
but safety is key.

Some of the questions men ask about men's work, and The Crucible Project revolve around safety. Safety is a broad word, dealing with several different areas:

• Am I physically safe?
• Is my faith safe?
• Is the weekend spiritually/theologically safe?
• Will I be emotionally safe?

I'll look at each of these in the coming posts. I'll start today with physical safety.

Physical Safety
Men don't like to talk about getting hurt, because we're taught to play through the pain. One of my favorite phrases is, "Suck it up, Buttercup!". And as we get older, we start to consider the consequences of getting hurt. I know I do. So I don't think this is an unreasonable question for men to ask.

I know guys who have attended the weekend with all manner of health conditions from weak backs to screws & plates in their bones to heart issues. The standard is all men on the weekend, staff included, take responsibility for themselves and inform the staff so we can partner in *everyone's* safety. I've seen guys on the weekend aging from their early 20s to early 70s go through the weekend having been challenged, but not hurt. This isn't the NFL, people.

Parts of the weekend are physical in nature, and they can be challenging. That's the idea: challenging. Guys who are interested in growth and change know that it won't be easy (even if they hope it will be), and sometimes change involves physical effort. 

There's an important piece here about the approach taken by staff. When I staff, I follow leaders who have staffed and/or led many weekends. As I blogged here, they take the mantle of leadership as a solemn responsibility to God, the staff, and the participants, per James 3:1 "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."

These and other things make it safe
to do men's work.

The approach we staff take is in line with 1 Cor 16:13-14 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love." It takes discipline, courage, & brotherly love to give a man the room do his work. There is a fine line between letting a man do his work and giving him (what I think is) the answer. Often times men want to fix things for people or give advice. Advice & fixing things are not on the schedule: this isn't a therapy group. 

It's not hazing, either. I've been through a weekend and have staffed twice, and I've never seen anyone on staff treat a participant with disrespect, mockery, much less derision. There are none of the hallmark fraternity hazing rituals: carrying bricks, memorizing some complex phrase, heckling, demeaning them. I have seen none of this when I've staffed. I can't say such a thing has never happened, as I haven't been on all the weekends. What I can say is such conduct would be wholly inconsistent with what I've seen with my own eyes and based on the weekend preparation of which I've been a part. I've blogged here & here on different aspects of leadership on the weekend.