I like control, so most of the places I go, I do the driving. I've had the benefit of carpooling to the Crucible Project Weekend retreat as both participant & staff.
On the way to my initial TCP weekend, I traveled with three other men. I did part of the driving; it wasn't my car. I was nervous about what to expect for the weekend, and my fear of the unknown was heightened by not having my keys & my car at my disposal. The big deal for me was control. And in ways I did not understand until later, changing the way I usually do things (in this case, not driving my own car) and being out of my comfort zone were part of setting the stage for me for the rest of the weekend.
In some ways, the carpool issue parallels a larger social/societal trend as well as my own life. How often do you see Christian men (or any men) spending time together in close quarters? How much time do I spend alone in my car, or my life, when I could be in community with other men? Quite a bit, truth be told. So men who don't know each other are challenged to ride together and "make" conversation. And when the weekend ends, men ride back to their lives. The conversation on the way back is remarkably different, from a different place, with different language, honesty, & transparency. My ride home from my initial TCP weekend was a debrief, a reflection, a series of "ah-ha" moments men had on the weekend and shared willingly with others in the car. Transformation.
Why carpool? For sure, the logistics of getting 70-80 vehicles (participants & staff) in a parking lot are made a lot easier if the number of vehicles is cut by half or more. There's an environmental boost by ride sharing. It gives Christian men a "bookend" experience on the weekend: two very different levels of community, conversation, sharing. It offers us a chance to look inward when we're stirred up, to reflect on what is going on. There's no harm in that; it is a skill worth practicing.
