I like control, so most of the places I go, I do the driving. I've had the benefit of carpooling to the Crucible Project Weekend retreat as both participant & staff.
On the way to my initial TCP weekend, I traveled with three other men. I did part of the driving; it wasn't my car. I was nervous about what to expect for the weekend, and my fear of the unknown was heightened by not having my keys & my car at my disposal. The big deal for me was control. And in ways I did not understand until later, changing the way I usually do things (in this case, not driving my own car) and being out of my comfort zone were part of setting the stage for me for the rest of the weekend.
In some ways, the carpool issue parallels a larger social/societal trend as well as my own life. How often do you see Christian men (or any men) spending time together in close quarters? How much time do I spend alone in my car, or my life, when I could be in community with other men? Quite a bit, truth be told. So men who don't know each other are challenged to ride together and "make" conversation. And when the weekend ends, men ride back to their lives. The conversation on the way back is remarkably different, from a different place, with different language, honesty, & transparency. My ride home from my initial TCP weekend was a debrief, a reflection, a series of "ah-ha" moments men had on the weekend and shared willingly with others in the car. Transformation.
Why carpool? For sure, the logistics of getting 70-80 vehicles (participants & staff) in a parking lot are made a lot easier if the number of vehicles is cut by half or more. There's an environmental boost by ride sharing. It gives Christian men a "bookend" experience on the weekend: two very different levels of community, conversation, sharing. It offers us a chance to look inward when we're stirred up, to reflect on what is going on. There's no harm in that; it is a skill worth practicing.
I have a unique connection to the men I carpooled with on my weekend BECAUSE we rode together. It was blessing in disguise.
ReplyDeleteI have now staffed several of these weekends and some of my favorite times are the car rides to and from the weekend venues.
Last April I drove 8 hours to staff a weekend and carpooled with 4 other men. We told story after story. I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard. It also helped that we could keep each other awake on the drive home.
I drove with men I didn't know and I had a great time. We shared our stories and got to know each other. We shared our fears as men...something most men never do or only do when they are drinking alcohol. The drive together helped us prepare for the weekend, and since I didn't know anyone, it gave me some comfort that I was not doing this journey alone. It got me outside of myself, instead of the isolation I often prefer had I driven alone. On the backside, it was very helpful and encouraging to process the life-changing experience we all had. We were bonded like new brothers because we had just gone through the purifying fire together. Like it says in Psalm 133:1: "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!"
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments. The conversation on the way back from the weekend was profound: much greater depth, transparency, honesty, and amazement at what happened & how God worked in our lives. I'm still close with those guys and we talk about our carpool experience now & then. It worked very well for us.
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