The Problems You Have Left

I was part of a team once where we openly acknowledged that the only problems left were the difficult, complex ones. We accepted that the easy & fast solutions had, for the most part, been addressed. We delighted when something simple & easy crossed our paths, and celebrated wins over complex problems.

I think life outside of work is often the same way: most of the problems we face are complex, and it takes a team to work them out. Whether confronting my own habits, beliefs, or why a friend's email set me off, it is usually more involved than changing a light bulb or emptying the trash.

If it is true that doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result is textbook insanity, why do so many of us keep doing that? Once we know we are dealing with things which are complex, we can prepare for a longer time frame, more effort, etc., and agree that different ideas, methods, & practices are be required.

This upcoming weekend, about 30 men will join us to start work, in different ways, on the difficult problems they have left.

I can't wait!

Frame or polish?

Another of Seth Godin's posts got me thinking about people who frame an idea vs. polish it.

I know guys who say they'll go work on their relationship with God, cross the line of faith, build a community, etc. when they get their house in order. They're stuck trying to polish things up before other see them. I fall prey to this, too: if I can't do things well, I don't try--or I stall & delay.

Polish is beautiful, no doubt

Other men are the framers. They're building things, figuring out how to get things done, how to grow, how to challenge themselves. They focus more on progress than perfection. They're less likely to get stuck--or to put polish on being stuck so people see the shine, not the situation.

We're taught--shamed even--to spend more time & energy on the former. I want to spend more of my time working on the latter: framing things, getting things started--even making mistakes.

TCP Video Project Announcement

Today, TCP announced they are partnering with a world-class video production company to produce & shoot testimonial videos. And they'll overhaul their website to be on par with the quality of the videos.

Check out some other videos done by the Producer they'll use:

Cliff Graham: https://vimeo.com/63268381

Kappa: https://vimeo.com/58144121

Children Of The City: https://vimeo.com/77265855

Carolina: https://vimeo.com/67481779

Here's a link to the crowdsourcing site.

On, and in other news, TCP was mentioned on another site recently.

The Crucible Project: Big Announcement Soon!

The news will *not* involve an old ribbon-style typewriter.

I have it on good authority that there's a big announcement coming soon from TCP. This is a good thing, a step in the right direction, one that has been prayed over for a long time. Stay tuned for more info!

This weekend, there are men gathered in WI to work through the Mission Retreat, looking at what God put them here to do, and why...and a whole lot more.

In another month, TCP staffers will gather in Wisconsin for The Crucible Weekend. I'm staffing with my men's group, and we're all excited for what God has in store for us.

How to Pray Aloud Like a Man, Part II

Last June I wrote a short post about a great piece written by David Murrow, called "How to Pray Aloud Like a Man".

I just found a sequel to that post, dated late last year. In it, he highlights a prayer by Rick Warren, aptly noting that it is well-suited to men. I read it and I like it:

• no Jesus/Lord/God repeated 2,300 times during a brief prayer
• no misuse of the word "just" 37 times in the same prayer
• a simple, direct, bold, scary prayer for God to use him

Food for thought tonight as my children sleep upstairs.

Cursing on The Crucible Weekend

I have a confession to make: I've cursed on a Christian men's weekend.

Um, yeah. I felt like this.

For some readers, this will seem a minor offense, almost silly. For others, it is a bellweather of spiritual discipline and maturity that leaves me...lacking.

One of (many) struggles against sin that I have not yet won is cursing. I know what the Bible says in verses like: Col 3:8, Eph 4:29, & James 3: 6-10, among others.

I've been called out on it by people at work and good friends whose faith, opinions, values, and Biblical perspectives I trust. And yet I've not mastered my tongue in this dimension.

I could excuse it away: pop culture, who I saw do it when I was growing up, culture in differnet companies or social groups or...whatever. I'm not going to do that: I do it, and I own it. I find myself tempted to tell you that jokes with swear words are not my bag, that I've told people to not tell them in front of me. But that is really trying to parse words, to gain favor, to take away the impact of what I say.

So what does it mean when on said Christian men's weekend, upon such an admitedly unGodly utterance, the room didn't empty--that righteous indignation & condemnation didn't rain down from all directions? Does it mean the staff & paricipants justify, nay even embrace cursing as "acceptable"? Let's set aside hysterics and histironics here: it just means the other guys didn't freak out.

Ahhhh, rats

But, you may wonder, didn't someone call me out on my sin? I'm willing to say someone did call me out on it, privately. He did so in a respectful, and challenging way.

I never did go back & poll the other men in the room about why they didn't call me out publicly, shame me, or freak out.

I will say that the issue of profanity is addressed on the weekend. I won't get into details; as I've blogged before, that is confidential.

In my experience, it wan't endorsed. It wasn't encouraged. And it wasn't used as a cudgel to shame me.

The Crucible Project: Is My Faith Safe?

It's time for part two in my look at The Crucible Weekend & safety: Is my faith safe?

There are a handful of basic reasons that my Christian faith is safe on The Crucible Weekend.

• First of all, this is a weekend for Christian men, so there's no threat from other religious beliefs.
• Within the larger Christian community, there are many different demoninations. However, the point of the weekend is not to move men from one Christian denomination to another. There is no denominational affiliation here.
• You won't find detailed doctrinal positions, because the differences aren't the point. And the point isn't the intricacies of a particular staffer's beliefs or practices. I've not been a part of any discussions on the Vatican 2, predestination, or other such topics. I don't mean to make light of significant topics of faith; they're just not the priority. 
• The big things are covered here. I think there is a lot of common ground, a lot of room to work and learn and grow from here. Frankly, it is a relief to work in the common areas, rather than expend energy debating (arguing?) about our differences. 

So that addresses whether a particular tenet or belief is "pushed" in the weekend (clearly not). In my mind, the next question is whether or not someone will directly challenge what I believe.

I'm walking a fine line here: I don't want to steal the experience from anyone, and at the same time I want to address the issue, so I'll speak from my own experience. I have not needed to explain or defend or describe my position on any issue of faith. The weekend isn't a seminar on evangelism or apologetics. Those are fine things, don't get me wrong--just not the focus on The Crucible Weekend.

There have been times, in circles of men, when my faith has been challenged. I don't mean assaulted or attacked; more like brought out for me to see, to reconcile.

Some are questions around how I'm *living* my faith, basic spiritual disciplines. For example, there have been times where I was afraid about important things like my job/career, health issues in my immediate family, etc. During these times, men have called me out, asking difficult questions about how I'm dealing with what is going on. They've asked about if/how I'm taking these issues to God in my prayer time. They've asked if I'm regularly reading the Bible, and what I've learned there, and how it applies to my circumstance. They've asked, among other things, if I'm trusting God or my own strength.

I've also been asked more difficult, complex questions. These help me see, in bold relief, my choices & their results. I tend to go off & try to figure things out on my own, so men have challenged me around community: with God, other men, other people. I remember the men who have asked me, rhetorically, how well "doing life on my own" is working for me. Other men have asked me things like, "How do you see your choices playing out as your kids grow up". They get me back to the impact of my spiritual example to others, and how my example is in line with the Bible and my faith.

There are some questions about me & my faith which are high risk & high reward. These questions are pointed, about the nature of God & application of scripture. I have gone through seasons where I have been pushed me right to the breaking point, asking things like: What is God trying to do? Why has God forsaken/opted to punish me? How do I move ahead from here? Biblically grounded men have been able to help me identify my assumptions about God's nature, confront them with scripture as appropriate, and re-frame my situation based on the authority of God's word. Being part of a small group of such men provides me with the opportunity to have them walk with me through life as I implement the changes in my life.

In summary, my faith is safe from attack when I'm on The Crucible Weekend, and when I'm in the presence of Crucible Project alumni. What is challenged instead: my complacency, assumptions, habits, and excuses. And I'm okay with that.

Is The Crucible Project Safe?

We may not be doing road work,
but safety is key.

Some of the questions men ask about men's work, and The Crucible Project revolve around safety. Safety is a broad word, dealing with several different areas:

• Am I physically safe?
• Is my faith safe?
• Is the weekend spiritually/theologically safe?
• Will I be emotionally safe?

I'll look at each of these in the coming posts. I'll start today with physical safety.

Physical Safety
Men don't like to talk about getting hurt, because we're taught to play through the pain. One of my favorite phrases is, "Suck it up, Buttercup!". And as we get older, we start to consider the consequences of getting hurt. I know I do. So I don't think this is an unreasonable question for men to ask.

I know guys who have attended the weekend with all manner of health conditions from weak backs to screws & plates in their bones to heart issues. The standard is all men on the weekend, staff included, take responsibility for themselves and inform the staff so we can partner in *everyone's* safety. I've seen guys on the weekend aging from their early 20s to early 70s go through the weekend having been challenged, but not hurt. This isn't the NFL, people.

Parts of the weekend are physical in nature, and they can be challenging. That's the idea: challenging. Guys who are interested in growth and change know that it won't be easy (even if they hope it will be), and sometimes change involves physical effort. 

There's an important piece here about the approach taken by staff. When I staff, I follow leaders who have staffed and/or led many weekends. As I blogged here, they take the mantle of leadership as a solemn responsibility to God, the staff, and the participants, per James 3:1 "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."

These and other things make it safe
to do men's work.

The approach we staff take is in line with 1 Cor 16:13-14 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love." It takes discipline, courage, & brotherly love to give a man the room do his work. There is a fine line between letting a man do his work and giving him (what I think is) the answer. Often times men want to fix things for people or give advice. Advice & fixing things are not on the schedule: this isn't a therapy group. 

It's not hazing, either. I've been through a weekend and have staffed twice, and I've never seen anyone on staff treat a participant with disrespect, mockery, much less derision. There are none of the hallmark fraternity hazing rituals: carrying bricks, memorizing some complex phrase, heckling, demeaning them. I have seen none of this when I've staffed. I can't say such a thing has never happened, as I haven't been on all the weekends. What I can say is such conduct would be wholly inconsistent with what I've seen with my own eyes and based on the weekend preparation of which I've been a part. I've blogged here & here on different aspects of leadership on the weekend.

The Crucible Project: Show Me or Show Up

In another recent blog, Seth Godin talks about The Show Me State. Neither he nor I mean Missouri; I

Missouri is the "Show Me" state, but
that's beside the point.

consider this frame of mind the bane of men's work: apathy. I've invited men to the weekend, and several times I've heard variations of "show me what it is or what I'll get before I commit to going". This, as Godin aptly notes, is preface to "now that I know what it is about, I don't need to commit".

So much of life is really a mystery, yet we're told we're better off driving out mystery, sanitizing things, extracting the essence of experiences and putting them in hermetically sealed bullet points. I fall prey to this approach.

Last weekend my wife & I went out to celebrate our anniversary. She really wanted to see Gravity, and I was fortunate enough to hear little of it before we went. I saw only the title of one review, which basically said in its title to ignore the review & go see the movie--which I did. I loved the movie; it was even better that I knew so little about the plot and nothing of how it ended. I was better off *not* knowing the details, so I could have the experience of being present during the movie.

I think this quest to stamp out the unknown, mystery, & surprise is based on fear. What if I *don't* know how this will go? What if I am the only one who doesn't know the answer? Men's work is inherently both: we don't know how it will go, and we often don't know the answer. After all, if I knew why, I'd start to heal & make new choices. Men's work, especially my own, scares the crap right out of me. I don't know how it'll turn out, how well I'll "do" my job, what I'll "get", how I'll feel, or what to do next. And leaving this long list of crazy-making questions somewhere else is often the best thing for me.

I know I can trust the men there: they've proven to me they're trustworthy, despite their imperfections. The men there are doing their best, and will make mistakes & fail sometimes, and do their best again to make things right. Perfection isn't required. Prayer, reliance upon God, empathy, skill, dedication, and honesty are overstocked on the weekend. These things are more than enough, and show up every weekend.

It's a good thing that God didn't display apathy at our sinful condition, or that Jesus didn't decide that he didn't need to commit. By comparison, it seems a small matter for men to set apathy aside for a weekend and commit to being present in their own lives. Doing those things has made a profound difference in my life, changing the trajectory of my life to be more in line with God's will. I'd love to see where it will go; part of the joy is being present while it unfolds.

The Crucible Weekend: Modeling Male Community & Same-Sex Friendships

I've been thinking a lot about community lately. I've spend a lot of time with a good friend, each of us bartering our time to help each other work on our houses and cars. Money is tight, the jobs are much easier with two men, and we each agree it is easier for us to work on someone else's house/car than our own. So we labor away in our free time, breaking bread together, solving problems, working late, sharing each other's burdens.

We talk while we're working: about our struggles, failings, fears, successes, jokes--the whole gamut. And this is how things are supposed to be: guys, and their families, doing life together. My kids greet the guys in my mens' group by their first names because they see them regularly. They're learning that different men act differently, and that is a good thing.

Last weekend, a bunch of men I know staffed The Crucible Weekend for men who live in urban communities. The men who participated in the weekend live very different lives than I do: vocation, background, where they live, what their city/village/community looks like. And yet we have similar goals, a similar calling, in terms of Community. As I've blogged before, differences of socioeconomic, culture, race, location, vocation, etc. are much less important when we have a common faith in Christ. This faith in Christ provides a bridge over these other differences.

As I've blogged before, we've started Men's Ministry at my church. The men I met want to learn God's word; some are even hungry for it. I also heard men say they are looking forward to the community aspect of our meetings: from simply recognizing & knowing other guys at church on Sunday, to building friendships, to challenging & encouraging each other, to knowing each other--and being known by others.

The Crucible Project teaches how to do authentic male community, and how to do it well. If posts like these cause a stirring in your soul, why not fill out TCP's Contact Us form, or comment here, or reach out to me directly?

Boys, Men, and the Christian Church

I just stumbled upon a great couple of blog posts about boys by Tim Wright. In one, he talks about The High Cost of Bored Boys.

The thing that really got my attention, that struck a nerve, is his first post, asking Does Anyone Care Anymore About Boys?

Ahh, the beach!

I have been blessed with two sons, and the thing that grabbed my attention was how in 2009, the White House announced the formation of The President's Council on Women and Girls. Why no mention of a similar council for boys & men, you ask? I think it is part of  a larger drift among men. I see recurring examples of men who are not motivated, engaged, or "stepping up" in their lives. The women are organized, and the men are...where? Afterall, boys can't raise themselves, at least not well. Just look at the stats in Wright's blog.

In my opinion, the most direct path to turning this around is to raise up men. That's why I blog, serve in Men's Ministry in my church, meet with men, & staff weekend retreats with The Crucible Project.

There's another great group, Project 5130, which "raises up" boys on an experiential weekend. In fact, the group's founders are alumni of The Crucible Project.

I am delighted at others' efforts to start & continue a conversation about raising boys. Men, myself included, need all the help they can get. And if we don't get men & boys engaged in the world, and their faith, what will be left of the Christian church?

The Christian Church, a Gender Gap, and Missing Men

David Murrow did it again. He has written another insightful, pointed post about the Christian church and the gender gap.

I would argue that the grand narrative arc of the New Testament does NOT emphasize feminine themes; rather this arc has become perceived as feminine.

• Yes, Jesus fought an abusive, legalistic religious landscape. That alone sounds more like a man than a woman--except when I consider this is how media represent women today. To prove my point, how many leading ladies in action films are shown as tough, vs. vulnerable, nurturing Sunday school teachers? 
• Jesus asks fishermen to walk away from their livelihood and follow him, and they do. Popular culture is replete with examples of men who drop what they're doing to pursue a beautiful woman.
• Jesus has a group of men who are his close friends, his ministry, his traveling companions. I think this is the example most adopted by women, most abandoned by men in our culture today. When I ask men if they're interested in men's groups or a Bible study, etc. they look at me like I'm speaking Klingon.

We've taken rugged individualism and made it our false idol. Jesus "did life" in the company of other men, ministering to communities as a whole. He broke bread with these guys, they disagreed & worked it out.

I don't think women grabbed the reins of the church from men; I believe, like John Eldredge, that most men are "asleep" when it comes to the big issues in life (and no, the big issues don't include fantasy football). With nobody at the wheel, so to speak, women stepped in.

It's like a company whose lead product has drifted from one market segment to another. They're in a tough spot, b/c the money & decisions are made by the new segment (women), and the original segment (men) is out of the picture, with little brand "engagement". Under attack from exterior forces (other religions, apathy, "must see TV", etc..), how does this firm re-engage its original target?

That is the big question: how to get men involved again in church. James MacDonald at Harvest has had a lot of success in this arena; I like David Murrow's ideas. The Crucible Project is getting it done.

Any other ideas? What are you doing to get men engaged in church...and life?

The Crucible Weekend: A Closer Inspection

I've had a dose of the reality lately, regarding the frailties of humanity: people close to me impacted by death, hurt, broken community, fear.

Taking a look at Character &
The Crucible Weekend

I'm encouraged by the character of men I know:

A man who helps me clean up after working (together) on his wife's car. This isn't about a pristine garage: all tools are potential weapons or instruments of destruction if left unsupervised & in arm's reach of my kids. :) It is after 11pm, he has a 30 minute drive home, and he has to leave early in the morning for work. It would be easy for him to ask me to leave w/o helping in cleanup, and I'd support him if he did. He stays to help wrap up, b/c it is the right thing to do.

A man shares a prayer he wrote years ago, as he looked back with grief on his (human) failings as a Dad. I'm not the first one to raise my hand & thank him: for both the gift of his prayer and the gift of his humility & willingness to take the risk to share. I add it to my daily prayer.

A man I know & respect very much mentions The Crucible Project as something that transforms his life, and one of his friends takes a leap of faith & signs up for The Crucible Weekend. Within a week, my friend finds himself, his wife, and children threatened by a major crisis. He writes and speaks of God, tells tales of His provision, and boldly asks for prayers for his family.

Sure, if you look hard enough, you'll find stories of courage out there. The concentration of stories like these in The Crucible Project alumni is no accident. Come join us and live a life worth imitating--and telling others about.

The Red Lantern

I've been thinking a lot about school & community lately, as all three of my kids are now in school. Fall baseball has started, and there are wide variations in skill on my eldest son's team. How they treat each other on & around the baseball field, as well as in school is on my mind & heart when I'm at the games, and particularly at bedtime when we talk about the day, one-on-one.

Seth Godin blogs about The Red Lantern, a celebration of courage & determination in the Iditarod (and also the Tour de France, by the way). In particular, this is a celebration of people who are so far behind in a race they'll never win, yet they don't quit.

Why not celebrate people who
push through their own limitations?

Everyone wants to be a winner; it is painful & often very public to show up in last place. My kids won't always win at things they do, and I love the idea of celebrating them for not quitting when *everything* tells them to: the scoreboard, the crowd, their bodies, their flagging determination.

This spirit runs through men's work: the idea that we celebrate a man's victories without comparison to the scoreboard [read: paycheck, house, car, title, family success, how attractive his wife is, etc.]. In fact, men's work, when done right, provides an environment where men can set & achieve goals of real substance & merit: go after things which scare them to death; important, weighty issues with a ripple effect extending well beyond themselves. Men have challenges to face, they can get support and accountability, and they can break through their own barriers, limitations, addictions, distractions.

God won't evaluate me based on how well I perform relative to the rest of the human race. He'll evaluate how well I did based on what He gave me to do in the light of His holy expectations. That is a tall order. I'm grateful for grace, and a community of men who help me do my best to stay in the race, even when I'm way, way behind the leaders.

If you're way behind in any (or many!) of the races in your life, don't quit. Prayerfully consider attending one of The Crucible Weekend retreats. The "Red Lantern" can be simple & powerful: "Well done, good & faithful servant."

Sept. 20-22   Houston, TX
Sept. 27-29   St. Charles, IL (for men who live in the city)
Oct.   25-27   Lake Brownwood, TX
Nov.   1-3      Williams Bay, WI

Men's Ministry & The Great Commission

This past Friday morning during my prayer time, I found myself coming back to the word commission. It isn't a word I use often, and I felt God put it on my heart. In my experience, when that happens, God has to make it *really* obvious, b/c I'm not the quickest to pick those things up. The context at the time was my prayer around the simultaneous Crucible Project weekend retreats in Wisconsin & Australia, that these men would be commissioned by God by the end of the weekend (which is this afternoon).

The next morning, I participated in a meeting at church. It was really the first of its kind in the history of our church, with the goal of reaching men, getting men more involved. Our pastor read from Jesus' Great Commission as he opened in prayer. It was more than a coincidence: it was over 2 years worth of answered prayer.

There are stirrings of Men's Ministry at my church: men who are stepping up, plans being made, meetings scheduled, etc. We're a diverse group, with different ideas, gifts, & backgrounds. We have a passion for engaging men; we don't aspire to men's breakfasts where the most significant thing is Satan pouring the syrup.

This is truly exciting for our community. As my boys grow, I'd love for them to see men fully alive, mobilized, leading, growing in our community. Yesterday, we made some of the first steps toward that.

Yay, God!

The Crucible Weekend Starts Tonight in Wisconsin & Australia

Today in nearby Wisconsin and halfway around the world in Australia, men are gathering, preparing, praying.

Some are staffing one of these two weekend retreats. Among them are rookie staffers, whose “work” is fresh in their hearts, and on their faces. At least one of them, a friend of mine, is staffing for the first time many years after he went through what is now The Crucible Weekend. There are mid-level staff, who are familiar with the setting & the flow of the weekend. And there, too, are senior staff, the leaders. These are the men who have staffed over and over, who have earned the wisdom they bring. There’s no “Easy-Bake Oven” for men’s work. Men who give up their weekends, hobbies, and no small amount of energy to run these things know there is no substitute for experience. Some of these leaders will assume a heavy mantle of leadership for the entire weekend. There are surprises, even for the senior staff. And that is okay, because, you see, they’ve been tested, over and over. And they rely upon God to show up & do his work through them and all the other men on the weekend. It is a weighty responsibility, and yet I’ve never heard a leader complain about it.

There are other men, too. In fact, nearly as many men as on staff will be attending the weekend, starting tonight. Some arrive broken, troubled on every side. Some arrive proud, convinced they have things all figured out. Some men are fighting with all they have to get there tonight, fighting through fear, trouble at home and/or work, physical issues, car trouble, foul spirits and the like. Some men are going because they hope God will show up. Some men are going, and they’re scared, some bordering on panic. Still others have seen men they know go on the weekend and emerge changed—for the better. These men don’t know how, or why, they just know they want what they saw in the actions & words of a man who had been through. Several years ago, I was one of these men.

It is rare in today’s society that words like honor, service, servant leadership, prayer, and Jesus are all used together. It is even rarer when men in the Christian church do *anything* together. How rare, precious, and inspiring it is when these two things come together on a weekend retreat!

Throughout the day today, and during the weekend, I’ll lift these men up in prayer. Godspeed to you all!

Death & Taxes

Here's another brilliant post by Seth Godin.

If you click the link, you can see a powerful infographic on where the Federal gov't. spends its money.

I'm not trying to start an, ahem, conversation here about budgetary priorities.

Instead, being able to see this data is quite powerful, so you can decide for yourself if the spending matches your understanding...and your values.

As an aside, see how long it takes you to find the biggest circle of spending, including what it is. I'm ashamed at how long and how many viewings it took me.

Are You Prepared?

"School" can start any time. Are you ready?

The other day a friend showed me a quote that I really like:

The reason that God can't use you more than He wants to may well be that you are not prepared.

What are you doing to prepare yourself to be used by God?

• Are you clear on your mission: why God put you here on Earth? 
• Are you hiding from the things that scare you, the things you do but don’t understand? 
• Are you alone in your foxhole, trying to fight your way through life on your own? 
• Do you look back on your youth and wonder how you got to be where you are today?

What would your life be like if you:

• Knew why God put you here—and were working to fulfill His work in you—and in your mission?
• Face the things that scare you and get support from others in understanding & beating those things
• Were part of a community of men, fighting through your fears, challenges, and opposition, in the service of a larger story—God’s redemptive story here on Earth?
• Looked to the future with a sense of wonder & excitement about where God will take you next?

The difference between these two extremes can be as simple as a weekend retreat. Check out the Testimonials on The Crucible Project website. Send me an email or post a question. Ask people to pray for you. Do whatever it takes so you can move from the first group of questions to the second, to a life of significance, meaning, and connection.

What’s keeping you?

Another Statistic

The other day I found out that there’s another divorce in my community. I’m sad for the broken home & scarred lives, as there are kid(s) involved.

My judgment is the husband wasn’t in a community of men who knew him (really knew him) and could challenge him about his choices. I know him, and I did not see this coming: I didn’t make efforts to know him well, or offer him a taste of authentic community.

I don’t know that it would have made a difference. And I *do* know I didn’t make the effort.

What would it be like if we knew each other, challenged each other, and helped each other with our burdens?

I think it is a touch of Heaven right here on Earth.

Fake, Or Don't Believe Everything You Read

I was inspired by another of Seth Godin’s blog posts, this one on fake.

Here are a few excerpts which struck me:

We can leave a trail of wreckage without much thought, especially if we're anonymous…

When we want to hide behind an alias…we do…

Worse, when we want to deceive or lash out, it's easy to do…relationships and even reputations are disposable. We don't have to look you in the eye, it's dark in here, and we're wearing a mask.

My name is on this blog. I thought about using a pseudonym, a nom de plume, and then thought better of it: I don’t plan to write anything that I don’t want next to my name.

I write about things I have experienced, things I have seen with my own eyes. I claim my re-telling of things as my own. I don’t write about things I haven’t been through as though I had been through them. I didn't come up with a clever blog title to impute more credibility.

My issue is how easy it is to lash out, to hide anonymously, lobbing grenades into someone’s life, ministry, or mission. Once the grenade has exploded, there is damage to repair, requiring a great deal of time & effort.  Time and effort spent to rebuild, even if the damage was based on a lie. Or a “partial truth”. It’s easy for someone to anonymously create the wreckage without any data, facts, or evidence. And too often people read something & assume it is true—because why would someone write it if it weren't true?

It is not easy to stand toe-to-toe, have the difficult conversation, identify the miscommunication & misunderstandings—admit when I’m wrong. I do it, though, because it is what men do. Or at least what men *should* do, rather than working hard to convince you that your trust is well-placed in their stories.

Godin ends his post by asking, “Do we really need to add another layer of fake?”

Preach on, brother, preach on.