Telling a Man His Story

Sometimes, in the confusion & pain that is my story, I lose sight of everything but myself. I revert to my childish, selfish, toddler nature, where others are there to meet my needs. And whoa, if they don’t, then they’re to blame: for my unhappiness, for what is missing in my life, for what is there but I *wish* were missing in my life.

I recently watched a man tell *another* man his story. To be clear, "Mark" told "Jim" what happened in "Jim's" life, what he did/didn't get, etc.. "Mark", the “teller” got the whole thing wrong. Entirely. He couldn’t have been more wrong if he sat down, did research, & planned it out.

In most circles of men, this firebombs a relationship: neighbors stop talking, churches splinter, families are broken. In a circle of initiated men, we are privy to something that seems abstract, yet is essential: it’s not about me.

In a circle of initiated men, the “teller” above is called out—not to punish, shame, or put down. Think of it as calling “shenanigans”. It is the teller’s opportunity to learn something—and the other men have the opportunity to learn something about themselves: do I tell other people their story?

In writing this, I realized I tell others their story. People close to me. Ouch: that’s not who I want to be.

Who knows your story? Who really knows you?

If someone telling you your story would set you off, and you are intrigued by what I described above, check out The Crucible Weekend. It’s run by The Crucible Project. They do a great job teaching what authentic Biblical community is, what it isn’t, and how to practice it. 

You’ll have the opportunity to learn it isn’t really all about you. 

And you’ll also have the opportunity to be surprised when some things are about you—even when you thought they weren’t.