The Crucible Weekend: Communication 101

Tonight's post is about communication, the first in a series.

If you think about it, this is true.

One thing that is hard for people, particularly men, to do is be present in the moment. I wake up, and over coffee, my to-do list takes off like it is attached to a rocket booster. It is hard to fight the G-force when the kids wake up and demand (and merit) my attention instead. It's hard to leave my agenda aside & listen & focus on what is going on in their worlds first thing in the morning. 

Here are a few tips I've compiled from men who have gone before me.

Don't

• Just wait for my turn to talk
• Go somewhere else in my mind: work, home, play--whatever is going on other than right there, right then.
• Think about how I can solve your problem

Do

• What the other person's body language for clues
• Listen to understand
• Work hard to connect with the other person: their feelings, their situation.

I find this works well, for both men & women. People really like to be heard, not told what to do like freshmen at football practice. When someone is busy telling me what I should do in my life, I find it hard to bite back invective, because that person usually hasn’t taken time to know me. Often, they're busy telling me my story--incorrectly.

Are you present, really present in your conversations with other people? What if you were as present as you could be—wouldn’t your relationships be different?

If this is intriguing or hard to grasp, take a step of faith, a risk, and check out The Crucible Project. These men know how to listen, how to be present in the moment. They're willing to listen, model, and teach you this, and many other skills. And you just might change your life.

Who knows? You might learn something meaningful about someone else.